How Financial Literacy Can Save Every Woman From Financial Abuse
Let’s talk about something deeply personal and painfully common: intimate partner violence. Specifically, I want to focus on financial abuse—a form of control that often hides in plain sight—and how financial literacy can be a literal life-saver for women caught in these dynamics.
This topic hits close to home for me. I won’t go into too much detail, but I’ve seen abuse up close. In my immediate and extended family, many of the women I grew up around were survivors of abuse. Some endured physical violence so severe that police were regularly called to the house. I have memories of weapons being involved—of my aunties fearing for their lives. So from a very young age, I internalized the belief that men weren’t safe. I promised myself I’d never rely on a man, that I would never allow myself to be in a position where someone else could control me—especially financially.
What Is Intimate Partner Violence?
When we hear the term “domestic violence,” we often think of bruises and black eyes. But abuse doesn’t always show up with visible scars. It can be verbal, emotional, psychological. If you’re in a relationship where you feel manipulated, gaslighted, or stripped of your autonomy—where you can’t make your own decisions or control your own finances—you are likely in an abusive situation.
The reality is chilling: 90% of women who are murdered are killed by someone they know, often a current or former intimate partner. Abuse is not always loud or obvious. It can be quiet, calculated, and hidden behind closed doors.
Globally, one in three women—about 30%—has experienced physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner or sexual violence by a non-partner. In the U.S., more than one in four women have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner. One in five has been raped.
The statistics are even more alarming for Black women. Black women are 2.5 times more likely than white women to experience intimate partner violence. Over 40% of Black women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. And because of systemic racism, sexism, and economic inequality, we often have fewer resources and support systems to escape these situations.
Shadow image of gun being pointed at someone with their hands up.
Why Financial Literacy Matters
Here’s the part that often gets overlooked: 99% of women experiencing intimate partner violence are also financially abused. That number blew my mind. It means that financial control, manipulation, or sabotage is almost always part of the abusive dynamic.
That’s why financial literacy isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s a life-saving skill. Women need to know how to budget, build credit, understand debt, and invest. Financial independence creates options. It creates safety.
In my own life, the first man I ever loved—my first romantic and sexual partner—used money as a tool of manipulation. He’d pressure me to prove my love through financial sacrifices. That’s financial abuse too.
What Does Financial Abuse Look Like?
Here are some common signs:
Controlling access to money: Whether you share a joint account or have separate finances, no one should dictate how much access you have to money. If someone gives you an “allowance” but controls what you can spend it on, that’s a red flag.
Limiting your income or employment: Preventing you from working or going to school is financial abuse. Education and employment are key pathways to independence, and controlling access to them is a form of sabotage.
Debt in your name: If someone racks up debt in your name or ruins your credit, they’re not just damaging your finances—they’re limiting your ability to leave. A poor credit score can keep you from renting, buying a home, or even getting a job.
Stealing or hiding money: Taking money out of joint accounts, hiding financial assets, or selling your belongings without permission is financial abuse.
Withholding resources: This includes taking away a car, restricting access to transportation, or otherwise isolating you from the ability to work, earn, or leave.
Sometimes, financial abuse isn’t about outright theft—it’s emotional manipulation. Maybe your partner constantly asks for money and guilts you into helping, even when you’re struggling yourself. Maybe friends or family do this too. Helping once is one thing, but being caught in a cycle of overextending yourself to support someone else—at your own expense—is a boundary violation.
Let’s be real: You cannot pour from an empty cup. Helping someone else shouldn’t require you to drown with them. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can say is, “No—not right now. I’m not in a position to help.” That doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you responsible.
The Strong Black Woman Trap
I want to name something here: Black women often fall into the trap of hyper-independence. We pride ourselves on being strong, capable, and always there for everyone else. But this mindset can be a setup. We need to shift toward interdependence—being strong enough to ask for help, and wise enough to protect our boundaries.
Why This All Matters
Abuse doesn’t always start on day one. It creeps in slowly. By the time a woman realizes she’s in danger, she may not have the resources to leave. That’s why I want you—yes, you—to start preparing now.
Learn how to budget. Understand your income and expenses. Build savings. Know your credit score and how to improve it. Invest for your future. Even if you’re in a healthy relationship today, these skills will serve you—and may one day save you.
Because the truth is, most women who leave abusive relationships leave with almost nothing. And it often takes multiple attempts—seven, on average—before a woman can leave successfully.
So if you’re not in that situation yet, build your safety net now. And if you are in it—know that you are not alone. Support exists. You are not crazy, you are not weak, and you are not stuck.
Financial literacy isn’t just about wealth. It’s about freedom. And for some of us, it might be the only way out.
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