Why Hyper-Independence Is Making You Broke and Burnt Out
Let’s talk about the badge of honor so many of us were handed before we even knew its weight — hyper-independence. For many Black women and folks from marginalized communities, this isn't just a personality trait. It’s a survival mechanism, a legacy, a learned way of being. But at what cost?
In a world that praises self-sufficiency and punishes vulnerability, we’ve learned to carry it all — our dreams, our families, our finances — on our backs. But the truth is, you weren’t designed to do this alone. And the path to holistic wealth? It starts with reimagining how we relate to support, community, and rest.
The Origin of Hyper-Independence:
Hyper-independence often blossoms in environments where trust has been broken, help wasn’t available, or where showing vulnerability was dangerous. It’s a trauma response. For many of us, the phrase “I got it” became a mantra — not from pride, but from necessity.
Especially in Black and Brown households, many of us were taught to not ask for help. We witnessed our mothers, aunties, grandmothers do everything with little acknowledgment. We internalized that to be strong is to be self-reliant. That needing help makes us weak. That our worth is tied to our productivity and our pain threshold.
But the truth is: Hyper-independence is not a flex. It's a wound.
The Financial Toll of Doing It All Alone:
From a holistic wealth perspective, hyper-independence is draining. Not just emotionally, but financially too.
We avoid asking for financial advice out of fear of looking "broke."
We refuse to delegate in our businesses, burning out and stunting growth.
We overgive to others but struggle to receive — missing out on support, investment, and community capital.
We say yes to everything and everyone — until our bank accounts and energy reserves are empty.
When we don’t trust others to hold us, we end up holding everything… and that includes financial burdens we weren’t meant to carry alone.
Interdependence: The Path to Holistic Wealth
Imagine this: A world where support isn’t seen as weakness but wisdom. Where community care is currency. Where your rest is respected and your boundaries honored. That’s not a fantasy — it’s the heart of interdependence.
Interdependence says: “We rise together.” It invites us to share resources, wisdom, and space. It’s the auntie who watches your kids while you work on your business. It’s the friend who sits with you through your budgeting breakdown without judgment. It’s the coach or therapist who reminds you that your healing is worthy of investment.
Interdependence is not co-dependence. It’s co-creation.
If any of this hits home, you’re not alone. This journey toward healing hyper-independence takes time. It takes trust. It takes unlearning.
But here's the invitation:
✨ Let yourself be held.
✨ Ask for help.
✨ Delegate something today.
✨ Invest in your support system the way you invest in your hustle.
Because your liberation — financially, emotionally, spiritually — is not a solo act. It’s a communal one.
Call to Action:
What’s one area of your life where you can soften your grip and invite in support? Comment below or journal on it. Let’s start normalizing conversations about wealth that include wellness, community, and nervous system regulation.
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